


we deserve to know light

by ashellthatsings



Series: through the rest of my life [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 08:44:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13477848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashellthatsings/pseuds/ashellthatsings
Summary: Evelyn worries about Cullen when he goes to Adamant, especially since there's nothing she can do.





	we deserve to know light

**Author's Note:**

> So the premise of this AU is that Evelyn is a Non-Inquisitor Mage Trevelyan researcher who has come to Skyhold to help with Dorian's research efforts. Because of her work and friendship with Dorian, he introduces her to Cullen, and the rest is history.

Cullen looked vaguely frantic.  Which was fair, he was about to ride into battle against the famously good at battle Wardens.  And she would be waiting at the base camp, hoping beyond hope that he survived, and that the Inquisitor survived, and that everything would be able to be okay.  That Corypheus wouldn’t win this one.  They rode in five minutes, and she considered the fragile newness of their relationship, and the horrible fear that was sat heavy in her stomach.  

So Evelyn watched him, and waited for him to change between the Commander of the Inquisition, to Cullen, when he caught her eyes and let himself smile just a little bit.  And that was when she made her move, when she walked towards him, caught his elbow with a gloved hand.  There was nothing left for him to do, he’d already given all his orders, the next thing for him was to say “Let’s go” in about three minutes.  No one was looking at him, or her, for that matter.  

So when she pressed a kiss to his cheek, watched his eyes soften, she wasn’t worried about their audience.  

“Cullen-” she started, and he closed his eyes for a moment.  “You’ll be safe?”

He chuckled.  “Evelyn, my dear, it’s a battle.”

She kissed him softly, letting her hands grip his fur mantle tightly.  And when she pulled back and felt his hands on her back, she tried to memorize that feeling, just in case.  

“Be safe.  Please,” she said again, and he nodded, still so close to her.  

“You too.”  

After a moment of silence, of simple companionship, she pulled a ribbon from her pocket, and pulled his glove down to reveal his wrist.

“Ev, what are you doing?”

She tied the ribbon, a light blue one she’d used in her hair since childhood, around his wrist.  “Traditionally, a lady gives a knight a favor before a battle,” she said, and her voice, her damned voice, shook.  “To bring him home safe.”  She pulled his glove back over the ribbon, and looked up to meet his eyes, which were soft, and so unmistakably Cullen, the Cullen she knew, she loved, not the Commander.  

He kissed her forehead quickly.  “This knight thanks you.”  

And the rest of the world came back to them, and Cullen looked at her one last time before getting onto his horse and riding to battle.  

And Maker help her, she’d wait for him.  

When he came back, blood spattered all over his armor, a few bruises starting to show on his face, bearing news of the Inquisitor’s survival and Stroud’s death, she waited.  He talked to Leliana and Cassandra for almost an hour, before they told him to get some rest.  

Evelyn was standing outside the command tent when he left, and when he saw her, he reached under his glove to untie the ribbon she’d given him.  

“I have brought back your favor, milady,” he said, the bags under his eyes seeming almost to fade as he smiled at her.  

She smiled back, full of pure relief that he was okay enough to joke.

“I’ve potions and poultices if you need them,” she managed to say, rather than exactly what she was feeling.  

He nodded, as he offered her his arm and walked with her to his tent, where he managed to open the flap for her and sit down on his cot before fatigue won and his posture slumped.  

She ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face, and he rested his hands on her hips.  “What hurts most?” she asked, as he leaned into her touch.

“My shield arm.”  

Over the next few minutes, she carefully divested him of the armor above his waist, revealing the worst bruises she’d ever seen layered over scars old and new.  

“What happened?” she asked, though she was completely sure knowing would make her nightmares about losing him more vivid.  

“A pride demon tried to take my shield.”

And then an image of him, surrounded by demons, shieldless, got her hands to clench in the folds of his shirt as she took it off him.  

“Can you turn?” she asked, and he nodded, turning so that she could plaster poultices on his back while he drank the potions she’d handed him.  

“You’ll have to sleep on your stomach tonight for these to work well,” she said, and he clenched his jaw as she touched a more sensitive spot.  

He felt around blindly for her hand, and when he caught it he squeezed it tightly.

“You really will have to sleep on your stomach, dear," she said.  "I’ve done very good work on these poultices.”

“I love you,” he said softly.  “I should have said it earlier.  I love you.”

Evelyn felt the same thing she’d felt when she’d met him, an undeniable sense that he was her future.  Stronger now, and more sure, but still there.  She didn’t quite know how to react to that, besides telling him directly.  So instead, she pressed a kiss to his forehead, and finished putting the poultices on his back.  “I love you too,” she said.  And when she smiled, it didn’t seem to matter that it was possible they’d only live for the next six months, or that the whole world was falling apart around them.  All that really mattered was that after so many years of being lost and fighting, they were happy, and together.  

Even as his eyes started to shut from fatigue, he still fought to stay awake, until she smoothed his hair back and kissed his hairline.  

“You need to sleep, heart of mine.  No need to fight it.”  

And as he nodded, and laid down on his stomach, she put gauze on the poultices to keep them on, and then pulled a blanket on top of him.  And when she’d done that, she curled up on the cot next to his, where she could see him and he could see her.  So the last thing that he saw before he fell asleep was her, safe.  And so that the last thing she saw before she fell asleep was him, whole.  

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing a lot of this recently, so if y'all want to see more, let me know!
> 
> title from Joanna Newsom's "Sawdust and Diamonds"


End file.
